Pretty Nightmare (Creeping Beautiful Book 2) Page 2

  I laugh thinking about all that because Adam was like, “Why the fuck didn’t you put bars on this window fourteen years ago, McKay?”

  And I knew what he was saying. If my window had bars on it, then a lot of things that happened would not ever have happened.

  Including Maggie. Maybe.

  If she is Nathan’s, then yeah. That would’ve put an end to Maggie. But if she’s not, well. I’m not sure where Carter got a hold of me so we could have sex in the first place, but I’m fairly certain I didn’t crawl out my bedroom window to see him.

  Adam probably thought this through after his initial outburst and came to the same conclusion.

  The stairs squeak and Donovan appears at the end of the hallway. He stops in front of his bedroom door when he sees me. “What’s up? Maggie go to bed OK?”

  I nod and walk towards him. “Yup. She’s in there planning her day tomorrow.”

  Donovan smiles at me, nods. “OK. So why are you just standing here?”

  I huff out a breath that lifts the hair up around my eyes. And when it settles back down I say, “I need a favor.”

  “What kind of favor?”

  “I need you to talk to McKay.”

  “About?”

  “You know. The sex and stuff. I’m tired of bed-hopping. And it’s so freaking clear that he and Adam want to be together, it hurts. And if McKay can’t come to terms with it, we’ll be stuck in this holding pattern for decades before we get to sleep together.”

  He side-eyes me for a moment. “What about me?”

  “What about you?”

  “Well… you never asked me if I wanted to share you with McKay and Adam.”

  Hmm. Donovan and I aren’t having sex, but we’re definitely skirting the rules on the nights we spend together. His hands will wander. Or my hands will wander. And then… can we help it if we get off on that?

  “So you’re not gonna do it?”

  Donovan grins at me. “Never said that either.”

  “Gah,” I say. “Can you just talk to him? I feel like we’re wasting time. Like we’re stuck. I don’t like it.”

  He reaches for me. His hands find their way to my body easily and they settle on my hips as he pulls me close. Then he kisses me. It’s a nice kiss too. I’ve kissed Donovan a lot over the years. He and I had a thing going after Maggie was born. McKay caught us once, watched us, but didn’t join in. That’s how I know we’re gonna have to initiate this, otherwise McKay’s inability to commit to what he already knows to be true will keep us apart forever. And I’m getting restless.

  I pull back from the kiss. “Talk to him, Donovan.”

  “Fine,” he says. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

  “No. Not tomorrow. Now.”

  “He and Adam are watching TV in the pavilion. What am I supposed to do? Go down there and interrupt them?”

  “I’ll tell him you want to talk to him and he should meet you in the kitchen. Then I’ll keep Adam occupied. I have questions for him anyway.”

  Donovan sighs and looks over his shoulder at the stairs. “Fine. But if this goes sideways, it’s gonna be your fault.”

  “Kiss him, Donovan.”

  “What?” Donovan laughs, then pulls me into his room and closes the door so Maggie can’t hear us if she’s spying. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Kiss McKay. It’ll help him feel better. I’m sure he feels the same way about Adam as Adam feels for him. And I’m sure he’s spent the past twenty-five years trying to picture himself kissing the guy. If he just gets it over with, then he can stop thinking so hard about that.”

  “First of all”—Donovan holds up a finger—“he will punch me in the face.”

  “He will not. McKay is not reactionary like that.”

  “Are we talking about the same man? Tall guy? Eyes filled with mystery and pent-up hate? Hobbies include training little girls to kill people?”

  “You’re being stupid. Why are all of you so stupid? And he has no pent-up hate. That’s utter bullshit.”

  “Second”—he holds up a second finger—“I’m one hundred percent certain that Core McKay has spent no time—not a single fucking moment of time—wondering how his first kiss with any man, let alone Adam, would go down.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Oh, I do know that. Third”—he adds to his finger count—“you really don’t see the pent-up hate inside McKay? Or was that just a flippant remark?”

  “McKay is not hateful.”

  “I never said he was hateful. I implied he’s got… issues. Long-time lingering issues, Indie. And all of them have to do with Adam and how he came to live with the Boucher family.”

  I huff, then sigh. “He loves Adam.”

  “I know he does. But love is complicated, Indie Anna. McKay isn’t thinking about kissing Adam.”

  “Well, he should be. Because those two were meant to be together.”

  Donovan smiles now. “That I can agree with.”

  “Then why are you so resistant to my plan?”

  “Because it’s not a romantic kind of love, Indie. It’s something else. They’re meant to be together because they don’t actually know how to live apart.” He stops. Makes a face. “Well. I’m not even sure about that any more. Adam seems to have gotten along just fine without McKay. And while McKay didn’t light the fucking world on fire while Adam was missing, he did move on. He’s got his workshop now. And his little online store shit.”

  “Hmm,” I hum. “That’s not good. They are meant to be together. We’re all meant to be together. So what’s wrong with giving this thing a little push? I’m telling you, McKay has no idea how to approach Adam and tell him these things. You can help him with that. Just get that first kiss over with. That way it won’t be awkward when we finally all get together. And that was the plan, right? We’re all waiting for McKay to come to some conclusion so we can have sex.”

  Donovan scratches his neck and shoots me a strained look. “Was that what McKay was thinking when he put us all in timeout? Because that was not my impression, Indie. To me it felt like… he wanted you for himself. But he knows he can’t have you like that. So he needed time for you to figure out who you loved most.”

  “Love most? I love you all. I’m not going to stop loving you, Donovan. Or Adam. Or McKay. This is my point. I want you all. And I don’t want to take turns. That’s not good enough. It’s all of us, or none of us.”

  He just stares at me for a moment.

  “I have earned this, Donovan.” My voice is soft now. “I have done everything you guys asked me to do and now it’s my turn for you all to do something I’m asking for. I deserve this. I deserve this family we’ve built. I deserve to be surrounded by love. I deserve happiness, Donovan. All I’m asking is that you help me make it happen. Please. We’re so close.”

  “We’re not close. Carter is—”

  “Forget him. He’s got nothing to do with our happiness. This is about us. That’s it. All I’m asking you to do is kiss him one time. Make him talk about it. Think about it. I swear to God, Core McKay is thinking about Adam. All the time. He’s looking for a way in, Donovan. Not a way out.”

  Donovan sighs. “Fine. Whatever. But I don’t think it’s gonna work, Indie. He really might hit me. And he hits hard. He barely likes me. We both know I’m only here because of you. Neither of them would even look at me twice if it wasn’t for you.”

  I scoff. Loudly. Then look him up and down with eyes that say he’s crazy. Donovan is a lot of things. He’s too smart, too sneaky, and too aloof. He was too skinny as a teenager and a little bit awkward. But he is not invisible. In fact, he is an unmissable-looking man. His dangerous good looks are dark and broody. And every time I look into his eyes, I see lust in there. I don’t know what he’s been up to all these years in his private life, but I’m absolutely certain that it involved a lot of dirty sex with people of both genders.

  He didn’t object to kissing McKay because he was a man. He objected beca
use he thinks he’ll be rejected. And that’s all I really need to know.

  So I say, “If they’re not looking at you twice, then you’re just not trying. If McKay doesn’t kiss you back, it’s because you didn’t flip his switch and turn him on.” I reach between his legs and fondle his balls. He breathes out suddenly and his eyes droop a little. “Try a little harder to turn him on, Donovan.”

  CHAPTER TWO - McKAY

  When Adam’s father sat me down in his office many years ago and told me this crazy story about zeroes, and negatives, and dead twins, I was only half listening.

  Not that fully listening would’ve helped me understand what the hell was happening. It wouldn’t. The things he said to me that day just made no sense and there was nothing I could do to change that.

  But I was also distracted. I was thinking about what my own father told me before I was taken away. He said, “Core, there are two ways to go through life and both of them require strength and conviction. You can either listen, follow directions, and be invisible to everyone, including your enemies. Or you can buck, and go your own way, and make everyone see you. One is not better than the other. They both have their merits. And you can get where you’re going either way, if you’re strong enough. But you need to decide early which kind of man you will be. Because once people form an impression of you it rarely changes. So decide, son. Do you want to be invisible? Or do you want to be seen?”

  By the time I had landed in Louisiana I had made my choice.

  I would be invisible.

  And so by the time I got into that office I was picturing ways to make it happen.

  I wasn’t naïve enough to think my father literally meant invisible, but I was young. So I’m not gonna lie and say that idea never crossed my mind.

  I do not hate Adam. Far from it. He is my best friend.

  I would die for him, but not for the same reasons he would die for me.

  I’m not going to walk away from him. I made my decision back when I was nine and I am nothing if not loyal.

  But then Indie came along and everything… shifted.

  It’s hard to explain. Nothing changed, not really. I was still on Team Adam. One hundred percent. You don’t bite the hand that feeds you, especially when the person attached to the hand is loyal, the way Adam is.

  But buying up little girls… I don’t know. It’s not that much different than buying up little boys, I guess. But then again, everything about it feels different.

  I didn’t start up my own team to take over. It wasn’t about replacing Adam. It was about helping him. He wasn’t the same after Indie’s attack in Nathan’s cottage. First of all, she fucked him up good and it took nearly six months for him to even be able to think straight for more than an hour or two at a time. Another six before he had enough physical coordination to make me tap out on the mat when we trained.

  It’s not like he always won in the past when we sparred. But I didn’t always win either. We are fairly evenly matched. Hell, we should be. I was chosen to be his equal, his double, his replacement. But when we first started training again after he started getting better, he was… weak. I wanted to stop. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I would wake up every morning at dawn and dread the two hours we had put aside for this every fucking day.

  It killed me to see him like that. And I was conflicted about Indie too. For the first time ever I wondered, Is she just… too dangerous? Even for us?

  I guess I was running from it. The idea that Adam would not recover. Because it was very clear to me, right from the moment he woke, that even if he did recover, he would not be the same.

  Getting attacked by the dangerous thing you fed, and loved, and cared for—how do you trust anything after that?

  And Donovan was in my ear the whole time Adam was in the hospital, telling me, “We need to make a move, McKay. We can’t let this Company shit get out of hand just because they think Adam isn’t paying attention.”

  He was right, I guess. But that shit got handled quick without our input, because James Fenici showed up and made a little speech that will burn in my memory for the rest of my days.

  His exact words to Donovan and me were, “This is the shit show of all shit shows. And I’ve seen my share of Class A shit shows. I’m gonna let her live, but you two fuckups are gonna stand the hell down, do your fucking jobs, and bend over backwards for Adam when he wakes up so he can resume. His. Duties. I will not”—he pointed his fucking finger at our faces and those infamous green eyes of his went feral as they stared us down—“not deal with another leadership change. Do you two assholes understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”

  Donovan shut up, I went back to the care and feeding of Indie, Nathan had the good sense to stay the fuck away, and… that was it.

  Life went on.

  Adam got better.

  But I didn’t. I was simmerin’ with anger.

  I can admit that now. Years later. Nine, to be exact.

  But back then, I didn’t understand what I was feeling. Because Adam never told us he was in charge of anything.

  Of course, I realize now, he didn’t know either. It took a while to figure that out. Years. Five, to be exact, after Indie went wild and hit him in the head.

  Adam didn’t know. There was some—I don’t know, internal memo maybe?—that Adam was next in line for the throne. Or whatever you want to call it.

  He wasn’t really. Not by legal succession. That was James. But James was truly out and he was just using Adam to make sure he could keep it that way.

  The Company, man.

  They will fuck you over every chance they get.

  But they come to your rescue too.

  That’s a very hard road to navigate and I might’ve taken a few wrong turns.

  Adam and I are out in the pavilion watching the sci-fi series we started nearly six years ago but never finished.

  Well, I finished it. Without him.

  He stops to ask me questions every few minutes. “So she’s a Cylon?” He’s stretched out on the couch across from me with his legs and arms both crossed. His feet are bare and he’s shirtless. It’s fucking hot out tonight.

  “I’m pretty sure you saw that part. We’ve known she was a Cylon since season two.” I’m also shirtless and stretched out on a couch. Maggie was down here with us until Indie came to take her up to bed. And we were watching cartoons until that happened.

  “I think I’d remember if I knew she was a Cylon, McKay.”

  He’s testy about this show for some reason. Maybe because we were into it and it started out as something we did together, but, like everything else, it didn’t keep going that way.

  “I’m not making a disparaging remark about your fucking memory, Adam. I’m just saying. We’re on season three now. You knew that girl was a Cylon.”

  I’m starting to get testy back. It’s too fucking hot out here and I’m just about to stand up and go inside when Indie pushes her way through the mosquito-netting curtains that frame the pavilion and walks over to me.

  “Donovan wants to talk to you about something. He asked me to tell you because I was on my way out here.”

  I screw up my mouth at this.

  “Why’s he wanna talk to McKay?” Adam asks what I’m thinking.

  “I dunno,” Indie says, shrugging her shoulders as she scoots my legs off the couch and sits down.

  Adam’s not looking at her. He’s pretending to be interested in the alien insurrection drama happening on the TV. “Why didn’t he just come out here and talk to him?”

  “I don’t know, Adam. Why don’t you go ask him?” Indie’s the kind of girl who will match you mood for mood. She didn’t come out here meaning to be short with Adam, but he was short with her first. You get what you give when it comes to Indie.

  Adam doesn’t even look at her. “I’m watching something.”

  I stifle a laugh as Indie scowls at him. “He’s just being a dick tonight,” I tell her. “That’s all.” Then I stand up and
head through the curtains towards the house, grateful that Indie came to save me. Even if it was just to have a stupid conversation with Donovan.

  When I get inside, sure as shit, Donovan is waiting for me in the kitchen. He’s just closing the fridge door with two bottles of beer in his hand when I walk in.

  “What’s up?” I ask. “You wanted to talk to me?”

  He pops the top on one of the beers and hands it to me. “Yup. It was Indie’s idea, actually.”

  I take the beer. It’s nice in the house. The AC is rushing through the vents down by my bare feet and the beer is very cold in my hand. It’s kinda perfect actually. And even though I should be concerned that Indie is up to something and she’s got Donovan involved, the annoyance that was building outside just slips away when I take that first sip.

  Donovan pops the top on his beer too. And his eyes track me as he drinks.

  I’m not gonna lie. Those eyes of his have always creeped me out a little bit. They’re dark, but not dark. I’m not sure that explains anything. They aren’t brown, but they’re not green either. Maybe it’s just that I’m used to blue eyes around here. We all have them, courtesy of the Company gene pool. Or maybe I have just always been a little mistrustful of Donovan.

  He’s an Untouchable, like Adam. But it’s a whole different kind of Untouchable. The things his family were involved in were some deep-state shit. Genetic engineering. Manchurian candidates. All those little girls in that auction. And the zoo, of course. Hell, that entire island was something right out of that old story, The Most Dangerous Game. I’ve never been there, but just before Adam and his father came up to Alaska and stayed with us, I heard my father telling my brothers about it. I don’t remember the specifics, but it had something to do with a hunt.

  And to be clear, they weren’t talking about hunting the animals.

  Donovan sets his beer down on the counter and then leans both hands on it, kinda inching forward. I’m on the other side of the island, so we’re not that far apart.